Self-Forgiveness

Self-condemnation

Self-condemnation is a common response to personal transgressions, characterized by distressing emotions (e.g., shame and guilt) and a diminished sense of self-worth and self-respect (Woodyatt & Wenzel, 2013a; Wohl & McLaughlin, 2014). Woodyatt and colleagues (Woodyatt, 2023; Woodyatt & Wenzel, 2020) have presented a cycle of self-condemnation that illustrates how these responses are sometimes reinforced. First, actions that violate personal values may threaten an individual’s fundamental psychological needs, such as their social/moral identity (e.g., the need to belong) and agency. This triggers rumination, whereby the individual replays the incident, exacerbating their negative emotions (e.g., shame, guilt, regret), negative appraisals (e.g., “what I have done is unforgivable”), and associated intrusions while also diminishing their problem-solving ability. Behaviors that seek to manage this distress follow, such as avoidance (e.g., thought suppression), defensiveness, or self-punishment. However, these reactions usually fail to address the individual’s threatened psychological needs, resulting in continued self-condemnation.

Research

"At some point in their lives, everyone acts (or fails to act) in ways that cause harm, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Recognizing that our behavior has fallen short of our values, principles, or personal standards can lead to different responses. These include self-condemnation, pseudo self-forgiveness, and genuine self-forgiveness. Research indicates that genuine self-forgiveness can be a helpful response to offences we have committed, benefitting our physical health, mental health, and relationships. This information handout describes what self-forgiveness is, what it entails, and situations where it might be less helpful."

Cautions and special considerations when exploring forgiveness

Several authors have criticized conceptualizations, practices, and values associated with popular forgiveness interventions, highlighting the need for caution (e.g., Legaree et al., 2007; Worthington & Lamb, 2023). Important considerations for therapists who are considering using forgiveness interventions include:

• Discuss ways of coping with transgressions at the right time. While many clients want to

• Cleare, S., Gumley, A., & O’Connor, R. C. (2019). Self‐compassion, self‐forgiveness, suicidal ideation, and self‐harm: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 26, 511-530. DIO: 10.1002/cpp.2372.
• Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015a). A therapeutic model of self‐forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling and Development, 96-104. DOI: 10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00185.x.
• Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015b). Working through past wrongdoing: Examination of a self-forgiveness counseling intervention. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 521-528. DOI: 10.1037/cou0000080.
• Cornish, M. A., Wade, N. G., & Cikara, A. (2017). Self-forgiveness in individual psychotherapy: Therapeutic models and counseling outcomes. In: Woodyatt, L., Worthington Jr., E. L., Wenzel, M., & Griffin, B. J., (Eds.), Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp.163 - 177). Springer.
• Cornish, M. A., Woodyatt, L., Morris, G., Conroy, A., & Townsdin, J. (2018). Self-forgiveness, self-exoneration, and self-condemnation: Individual differences associated with three patterns of responding to interpersonal offenses.